oh god the rape fog is back!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
