I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize