Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
