That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
