Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
