is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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