Have you finally orgasmed yet?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize