there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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