i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Shame - the story of my life.
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