i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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