I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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