You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
