Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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