Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
