these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
