did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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