i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
