Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
...so i touched it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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