Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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