O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
