i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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