The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
