Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize