More tranny stories later!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
