If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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