She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize