Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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