So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
