My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
