his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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