I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
