You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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