Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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