Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
