last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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