why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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