my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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