I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
