yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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