I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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