you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
