Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
