I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
