ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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