it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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