false alarm. still invincible.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
