So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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