You made me cry and you don't even care
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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