my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
