I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
