Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
