Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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