ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
