I can tuck mytits in my pants
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
