just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
