so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
