It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
