Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i wish my penis had a tongue
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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