the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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