why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
