I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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