There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
